Let's Chat :: The 'Busy' Trap
Now, I'm not normally one to take to the world wide web with my rants, raves or reflections about certain topics. Party pants.... well duh, that needed to have an entirely dedicated post. And so did Ellie Goulding, cause at the time, no one was raving with me and I needed affirmation from my one reader living in Liverpool!
But this all brings us back to today. And today I read this. And this has left some serious weight and realization. It became one of those things I wanted to scream from the rooftop that every single soul should read it beginning to end.... right now.
How many of us use 'I'm soooo busy' as an excuse, the default answer to a slow conversation starter, the means to twirl the topic back around to 'Oh, well, what are you working on?' .... which is essentially the exact ploy you were hoping would happen so you could just talk about yourself. [Insert my 'Things I'm Afraid To Tell You' banner here]..... I'm guilty of having done this. In a way, we are all programmed to default to this and all those things that make you 'busy' are merely time fillers you have personally volunteered to have in your schedule.
Let's clarify, this doesn't apply to those of you who are heart surgeons saving lives or the single mothers working three jobs. Y'all are doing legitimately important things for the greater good. I'm more thinking that this is a strong reminder to those of us who are just normal people with normal jobs doing normal things, who live in a space where we could have the down time, the ability to relax and truly rest deeply in our lives and opportunities for 'idleness' we have. I suffer from feeling guilty if I'm not doing something deemed 'productive' with my time. I'll remind myself that I don't have time to just stroll through the park..... I need to finish a blog post or get my media kit finished or answer all my emails or sign up for an online class or get a run in or finish that DIY project for the bedroom. I will deprive myself and slap on the guilt if what my day consisted of wasn't labeled as productive. What will I tell someone if they asked what I did today? When really, the only person thinking that...... is me.
"Idleness is not just a vacation, an indulgence or a vice; it is as indispensable to the brain as vitamin D is to the body, and deprived of it we suffer a mental affliction as disfiguring as rickets."
July 3, 2012
Reader Comments (7)
Such an interesting post Amy! You know, I actually think I have the opposite problem- I'm not busy! During the week, after my usual 8-9 hour work day, I like to maybe run a few errands and then head straight home. Then on the weekends, it's not uncommon for me to get home on Friday night and not leave my apartment again until I have to go to work on Monday morning. Now, this may be more an example of laziness, than not busyness, but I like having all that time to myself. Of course I see my friends from time to time during the week or the weekend, but if I see about once a week, that's pretty fine for me. During small talk when colleagues at work ask what I did over the weekend, sometimes I'm embarrassed to admit that I did a whole bunch of nothing (nothing being finishing a book, catching up on TV shows, tidying up the apartment) etc. So on the one hand I'm torn because I probably don't get out as much as I should, but on the other hand, I don't want to be busy</> all the time, running from one thing to the next constantly.
Anyways, enough of my ramble! Definitely an thought-provoking article and post!
Nnenna --- taking time for yourself is SO deserved! and yes, i'd say there is such a huge difference in that restful/idol time and being 'lazy'. relaxing after work, taking time to finish a book,etc is all absolutely where time should be spent. i'm jealous you have such a great routine of that already set in motion! that balance and discipline for it that you already have is enviable! thanks for sharing :)
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Amy
yes, amy! you've hit the nail on the head. i actually find that it's SO easy to be overwhelmed with life - and the guilt that sets in if you're not crossing off to-do items can be severe. i've simplified things for myself and am getting better at not taking the joy of life away because i'm rush, rush, rushing everywhere. i'm not THAT important.
great post!
http://www.thesparkle,net
I am so excited about what you've written here and your link to the article. People's 'busyness' has always driven me absolutely crazy, and I've never heard a public complaint of this same sentiment. I try to point out to others that I have plenty of idle time at my disposal and use other reasons (or excuses) for not being able to do things because hearing the busy tune from others makes my skin crawl. Good work!
Oh I'm so glad you shared this post on #blogbruch. I love the thought of savoring idleness, rather than feeling guilty for it. I really appreciated your thoughts and thanks for the link to the article. :)
AMEN Tim Kreider! I too suffer from the guilty feeling...its a learning process to work these things out in life, isn't it? So thankful you shared this, I absolutely love it. Plan to share it with a few of my "busy" coworkers, hoping its as big of a reality check for them as it was for me.
xx Shaunna
This is embarrassingly true. I've never thought about it. I think it's important to pursue you interests so long as your life makes you happy. But "busyness" feels addictive. It makes you feel worthy. I think our interactions with others should be more "in the moment". Our lives shouldn't feel wildly out of control with appointments and obligations. They should feel harmonious and well paced. And when someone asks how I am I'd rather respond with contentment and honesty instead of sounding exhaustingly successful. You're right, it's annoying when other people do it too, like they're almost too "busy" to be having this conversation with you.
-v