My love for this sleeveless blazer runs deep. What was initially bought on impulse and assumed destined to be returned, has actually become one of the great loves of my wardrobe. If you recall, I originally professed my feelings for all things regarding the sleeveless blazer a couple months ago when the outfit inspiration first hit. Now, it's like I don't even remember life before it existed.
Besides professing my love for blazers and wearing way to many layers for a New York summer, these past couple weeks have been one for the books. More recently, I realized my passport had expired and we are possibly taking a trip soon and well..... have you ever applied for an expedited passport renewal? Oh, you never let yours expired? Good for you, you certified adult. Let me enlighten you on the process in which it takes for one to get a renewed passport..... cause it's a doozie.
Let me start by saying.... I applied to college back when everything was handwritten. I filled out forms on forms on forms and had to meticulously follow all their precise requests down to staples versus paper clips. I mean, good luck with life if you choose to use the paperclip when the staples were requested. You're never getting into any college or making anything of yourself.
The process to renew your passport is a case study on endurance. After navigating your way through a government website that was clearly designed in the 90's, you print off paperwork, fill everything out by hand being sure to follow all of their randomly placed questions and check off all the teeny tiny hidden boxes....it's like they just strategically place those suckers in the far corners so you miss them altogether. Then you prepare your items to be mailed in. Yes, you are asked to mail in your previous passport, the original copy of your marriage license (if your name has changed), write out all the most secret and personal identification details of your life (helllloooo identity theft) and include a check for the costs and are then only allowed to use USPS to ship those documents to a land far far away. Seriously, you want to steal someone's identity...... just look for a package with the words 'expedite' written across it. Oh, that's right. If you want your passport process 'expedited', the means in which to identify that to them is to write 'EXPEDITE' in large letters across the package you are shipping. I reallllllly feel like there's a more secure way around this.
It was just my luck that as I strolled into the USPS office on the west side today that a delightful 65-ish year old man, whom we shall refer to as Buddy for the remainder of this story, was working. With my meticulously reviewed and re-reviewed stack of identification papers, I approached the counter. Dear Buddy.... I don't know how to put this kindly, but he could be the face of 'To Catch A Predator'. Now, I don't think he is a real life predator, but I use the analogy so you have an accurate portrayal of what I was face to face with. With no hesitation, he just flat out told me he hates processing passport paperwork and continued to mumble some things under his breath that weren't really clear. From what I understand, all he does is put the stamp on the envelope. As I inhale the stale smell common to most government buildings, I almost reminded him this is not a passport agency, just the post office. But he didn't look like a man who enjoyed some witty commentary. That, and I feared one wrong move and he would just light my envelope on fire. Buddy was not a force to be reckoned with. Also, his tie was on backwards.
I left the building in disarray. As I emerged from the drag surroundings and back into the sunlight, I wondered.... did that all really just happen? I nearly turned around twice before crossing the street to go beg for my package back. But alas, it has been sent off into the world and we begin, what we shall refer to as, 'The Great Wait'. It's like a teaser for a soap opera.... 'Will Amy ever see her passport again?'..... 'What's this magical place where these packages go to live?'...... 'Will Buddy every learn that his tie is upside down?'....... all of this and more on next weeks episode of 'As The Passport Turns'.
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